Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Post-Natal Blues? Very Real

If you have read my birth process, you would think I had it easy...well...which is true...my problems start now....

1. Tummy & Stretch Marks
Friends who know me knows that I am an incredibly vain person. After giving birth to a 3.66 kg baby + 2-3 kg worth of placenta and loss of about 1-2 kg of water & blood, I still sport a sizable tummy. What sickens me that relatives who come along to visit me keep harping about it....they say things like 'wahh! your tummy still so big...never see such a big tummy before!! You better do something fast!' It doesn't help when your mother in law comes along and tell you this every single time when she sees me...& what made me damn upset is that she practically announces it to her relatives and ask for confirmation that my tummy is indeed very very big. I was so upset the last few days that I actually cried myself to sleep. My tummy is big but right now what I need is encouragement not reminders....I mean...it's my body! You think I'm not upset?!!??

As a result of my incredibly huge tummy, I had developed many deep stretch marks. They are like angry brownish lines running all over the tummy. The skin tone and texture is uneven. Once you have stretch marks, it'll never go away... it'll probably just lighten into silvery lines but it's still obvious and positively ugly. It sickens me just looking at it...It sickens me that I have to let my other half look at it it too! I think he'll never look at me the same way again.

I am so afraid that it'll never be the same again.... this problem alone made me wonder if everything has been worth it....if you ask me again, I'll probably say I'll not wanna go through pregnancy again.

For those who cannot believe how bad is my tummy, here it is:

Will it ever go down?









2. Healing
My wound is not healing well either. It hurts when I walk and I get tired easily.

3. Constipation
Becos' of all the heaty maternity food, I have serious constipation. In fact, it sort of ruptured my stitches when I tried the other day and thats why my wound has not healed as fast.

4. Helena
I am trying to breastfeed Helena at the moment but because of that, I have no time to myself. I had to wake up like 2-3 times (sometimes more if she has wind in her system or if she dirties her diapers) in the night....She's not making it easy for me either as she's very impatient and screams her head off once she is hungary. But sometimes looking at her, you feel just so warm and you wouldn't mind this inconvenience...I just hope that she'll wean off night feeding soon...Not sure how much more reserves I have to survive longer than a month....

Here's a picture of her and Cookey: