Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Post-Natal Blues? Very Real

If you have read my birth process, you would think I had it easy...well...which is true...my problems start now....

1. Tummy & Stretch Marks
Friends who know me knows that I am an incredibly vain person. After giving birth to a 3.66 kg baby + 2-3 kg worth of placenta and loss of about 1-2 kg of water & blood, I still sport a sizable tummy. What sickens me that relatives who come along to visit me keep harping about it....they say things like 'wahh! your tummy still so big...never see such a big tummy before!! You better do something fast!' It doesn't help when your mother in law comes along and tell you this every single time when she sees me...& what made me damn upset is that she practically announces it to her relatives and ask for confirmation that my tummy is indeed very very big. I was so upset the last few days that I actually cried myself to sleep. My tummy is big but right now what I need is encouragement not reminders....I mean...it's my body! You think I'm not upset?!!??

As a result of my incredibly huge tummy, I had developed many deep stretch marks. They are like angry brownish lines running all over the tummy. The skin tone and texture is uneven. Once you have stretch marks, it'll never go away... it'll probably just lighten into silvery lines but it's still obvious and positively ugly. It sickens me just looking at it...It sickens me that I have to let my other half look at it it too! I think he'll never look at me the same way again.

I am so afraid that it'll never be the same again.... this problem alone made me wonder if everything has been worth it....if you ask me again, I'll probably say I'll not wanna go through pregnancy again.

For those who cannot believe how bad is my tummy, here it is:

Will it ever go down?









2. Healing
My wound is not healing well either. It hurts when I walk and I get tired easily.

3. Constipation
Becos' of all the heaty maternity food, I have serious constipation. In fact, it sort of ruptured my stitches when I tried the other day and thats why my wound has not healed as fast.

4. Helena
I am trying to breastfeed Helena at the moment but because of that, I have no time to myself. I had to wake up like 2-3 times (sometimes more if she has wind in her system or if she dirties her diapers) in the night....She's not making it easy for me either as she's very impatient and screams her head off once she is hungary. But sometimes looking at her, you feel just so warm and you wouldn't mind this inconvenience...I just hope that she'll wean off night feeding soon...Not sure how much more reserves I have to survive longer than a month....

Here's a picture of her and Cookey:

At Long Last!

Stage 1 of my labour

The day has finally arrived! Started feeling contractions at about 9pm on 20th Sept (Tuesday). Unlike some heresay about contractions being likened to 'a screwdriver plunged into the flesh', mine was bearable. In fact, it was not painful at all. But then that was the initial stage. My other half and I were saying the rosary together at that moment. He was very excited and wanted to go to the hospital immendiately but I had my reservations. I was afraid that it might be fake contractions and it would be just wasting everybody's time if we just rushed to the hospital like that. So I still went to take a bath and it was then I realised that I had the 'show' (brownish blood). That was it! My other half called his parents and we were instructed to go to the hospital.

After the nurse examined me, she confirmed that I was in labour already. Had already dilated 3cm by the time we checked into the hospital at about midnight. Contractions were regular but still far apart so we had no choice but to wait for it to become more intense. The wait was so loooongg...zzzz.... There is still no 'screwdriver pain' but it was getting more uncomfortable.

Stage 2 of my labour

After I was put on drip at about 9am on the 21st Sept, the contractions became more intense about 2-3 min apart. At this stage, I was told to go on epidural as the nurse told me I might not be able to keep still during the epidural shot if the interval of contractions become any closer. Well...no harm if it's going to spare me of any potential pain.

I hae to say this, epidural is the greatest invention for all women. Initially, I thought it would hurt like nuts since it's a needle injecting stuff into the spine...but it was nothing more than an antbite *seriously*. After that, it was a breeze...I could feel nothing from tummy and below. And it was a low dosage about 6ml per hour.

Stage 3 of my labour

The interval of my contractions started becoming closer together at about 4-5pm but the baby's head was still not well engaged so my Obstetrician wanted me to push my baby lower first. The nurse, my husband and I started the 'pushing' at about 5.30pm. Man...it was difficult not having any feeling of the contractions and yet you have to push. I practically used up all my internal strength to push...all I had was the nurse's words that I was doing well at each push. My other half supported my head and encouraged me all the way through the pushing...He didn't say anything but I think all the pushing made him wanna go to the toilet.

Finally! The head was engaged (my other half said he could see the top of head)....my obstetrician was called and the actual birth was finally here! All I had to do was to push hard 2 more times and my baby was out! Throughout the episiotomy (An episiotomy is a surgical cut in the perineum, the muscular area between the vagina and the back passage - I needed it here as my baby was expected to be a big one, to prevent a tear, the obstetrician would have to perform such a procedure), the birth of Helena, the placenta birth and the stitching, i felt nothing....amazing isn't it...thats the miracle of epidural!

Here is baby Helena in her first picture:

Hi Dear! You're finally out to see mummy and daddy!

Saturday, September 17, 2005
Desperate 'Housewife'?

Found this website which has the cutest icons (http://www.coolbuddy.com/icons.htm) and I have sorta found my avatars! Here they are:





I'm really crappy at this html thing so just bear with me...still trying to upgrade my blogskin

Have not been out these few days because of my condition so I resorted to on-line shopping instead...A fren recommended this website http://www.flowerpod.com.sg. The 'podders' (yes, thats what they call themselves) comment on the latest fashion, entertainment, girly products and all kinds of cosmetics... It's kinda like a fashion mag but with less of an agenda. One of the most interesting features of this website is the Fashion Spree! Yes, an online shopping spree for the desperate housewives.... One of the products which my fren had sweared by is the Birkenstock Slippers. Imagine this, the latest Birkenstock Papillio (yes, the flower design type)Slippers at only 70% of the original price... it is a def good buy! Apparently, what these podders do is that they block order many pairs from the supplier in the US/Germany so we can save on the shipping cost and all. I saw my fren's slippers when it arrived and it's too good a buy to resist. I ordered this pair....

Friday, September 16, 2005
The Pain of Waiting

Yes....I'm still here....waiting for baby Helena to come out!!! AHH!!! The frustration of waiting is really getting to me...I'm so big now, it's really scary......the other day I went to the market cos' I was really so bored...everyone stared at me...as in... really stared like I am some kind of alien being... everyone is calling me as well....telling me that their frens who are due like 2 weeks to a month after me have already given birth....god! Even Britney Spears has given birth.... see how swollen I am now!!!


















These few days have been relatively uneventful....I kept myself busy by packing my wardrobe......packed all the maternity clothes, out-of-fashion clothes and clothes I have not touched for over 2 years aside....My plan? Make space for new clothes! After my confinement...it's time for some shopping.... *heh* Rented some DVDs to watch as well...but nothing worth commenting about.....

There is a series on Cable which I am hooked on though...it's called 金枝欲孽 aka War & Beauty.

The star-studded cast is already a great pull...Gigi Lai, Charmaine Sheh, Maggie Cheung, Sheren Tang, Bowie Lam & Moses Chan. The 4 main ladies are the most evil, smart and conniving I have ever witnessed on a drama series. The main men are however, subjected to being secondary characters. One of the most amazing feats that this series accomplished was to write a story about four evil women who actually deserve our sympathy. Each of the women is cunning, evil & downright cruel, but throughout the show, we are allowed glimpses into their pasts and its through this "behind-the-scenes" look, we are able to understand why these women are the way they are and why they eventually changed into who they become.



The men, on the other hand, were a bit more pitiful. Though both Hung Mo and Shuen Bak Yeung played big roles in the women's lives, they were, after all, secondary characters. This is just one of the reasons that make this drama so special. Unlike many other TV shows now and in the past, the women are the focus here (think thats the new trend...Sex in the City...Desperate Housewives etc).


I was never a fan of Gigi Lai...sure she is pretty but I had always believed her to be nothing more than a vase. Boy...am I wrong....she portrayed the character of Yu-Ying to a 'T'. She was great. She did a fabulous job showing the different sides of Yu-Ying (innocent, evil, confused, in love).

War & Beauty is definitely a must watch!